


Farmers Only

by clownguts



Category: IT (2017), IT (2019), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, M/M, a lot of swearing, adult reddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownguts/pseuds/clownguts
Summary: Richie and Eddie join FarmersOnly.com as a joke with their friends and end up messaging each other.





	Farmers Only

**Author's Note:**

> so this is for my friend blythe because they came up with the idea for a farmersonly reddie au. this is my greatest accomplishment i think. also 2019 cast because the lack of adult reddie is frightening
> 
> i'm not sure how farmersonly works so sorry about that

Richie was bored. He and Beverly Marsh were at his house, watching some shitty horror flick on the television while talking about various things. It was pouring out, so the tv was loud. Luckily, the two thirty-somethings were louder. Not quite yelling, but just loud enough for it to be noted.

A sex scene appears on screen, prompting Beverly to say, “you're lonely, Rich.” She's smiling ever so slightly, never removing her eyes from the movie.

They met at Family Video about six or so years back. Beverly had been working there for just over two years when Richie was hired, and she sort of took him under her wing and showed him the ropes of the job. The two had bold personalities, not bold enough to clash but just bold enough to annoy their coworker Stanley.

“Am not,” Richie counters. They sound like elementary kids bickering, but they don't mind. “I have you, and Ben!” He finishes with a huff, tired of thinking.

“That’s two people,” Bev states. She thinks for a moment, then laughs. “Get out your phone.”

“I’m not downloading Grindr, Beverly,” Richie says. He's desperate, but not that desperate. Not yet, anyway.

“I didn't say Grindr, did I?” Bev laughs, “I’ll sign up too. Maybe I'll find a cute country girl.”

“Didn't know you had a thing for country girls.”

“Give,” Beverly sticks her hand out. Richie complies with a sigh, placing his phone in her hand and watching as she types something into it. Once he’s handed his phone, he looks at the website. FamersOnly. “What the fuck, Bev?”

Beverly brings up the website on her own phone, showing him. “We’re gonna do it together, man! Live a little.” She fills the form in quickly, typing her email, zip code, and selecting that she's into girls before submitting. Richie rolls his eyes but does the same, selecting that he's interested in men. “Fuck you,” he mumbles jokingly.

__________

Eddie and Bill were together at the latter’s house, while Mike was out picking up some food. The television was on but Eddie was more invested in what Bill was doing. “You need to loosen up a bit,” Bill said, “so, we are going to sign up for this! Well, you are.”

“Why not you?” Eddie counters. “I’m not signing up for a fucking cowboy dating app. I’m fine with being single and lonely.”

“Coward,” he says. Bill hands Eddie his phone, raising his eyebrow in a testing manner. Eddie sighs, typing in his information into the website and submitting it. “There.”

“You have to look around. That's what it's for,” Bill says between laughs. At this point, neither guy can stop laughing for more than five minutes. Eddie complies, pulling up the website on his own phone and looking around for a few minutes. He’ll admit, there are a few guys he does actually find attractive. He gets a message, surprising both him and Bill, so they both check. “It’s from a guy named Richie, hot.”

_Richie: howdy_

🤠 “Oh, God no.” Eddie looks a Bill miserably, hoping Bill would have helpful advice or anything. He didn't. Instead, he kept laughing and laughing until Eddie groaned and decided to text Richie back.

_Eddie: hey_

“I’m not signing up for a fucking cowboy dating app,” Bill mocks. Eddie lightly hits his arm, then his gaze goes back to his phone. He didn't join because he wanted to get a boyfriend — especially a fucking cowboy — but he's bored as hell and talking to this guy won't be any harm.

_Richie: look i made this acc as a joke but ur kinda_

Eddie hears a laugh next to him, and he hits Bill once more. “He’s cute,” Bill remarks. He’s right, but Eddie’s much too stubborn to admit that. Bill’s cocky and it'd end up with him telling Eddie that he's right, that making a stupid fucking dating app account was a good idea. Funny one, at least.

_Eddie: not exactly sure what that means but you seem interesting so_

“I fucking told you, Kaspbrak! I told you!” Bill’s standing now, and he laughs when he sees Eddie’s glare. “I just got you a boyfriend. A hot one, too.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie groans, “I refuse to date anybody from this farming app, joke or not.”

“I don't know,” Bill makes a ticking noise with his mouth, shaking his head, “you seem to enjoy talking to this Richie guy.”

“No,” Eddie states, “you just bore me.”

__________

They've been talking for nearly a month now, and although they discovered both of them live in Derry, Maine, neither of them dared to even think about meeting up. Eddie, Bill, and Mike decided that they're going to rent a few horror movies tonight for Halloween, since none of the three had actual plans.

“Personally, I think The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the best slashers to date,” Bill states, holding the DVD case. He examines the back, although mainly looking at the pictures.

“Alright, what else are we watching tonight, then?” Eddie asks, nonchalantly. He's switching between looking at his phone and looking at the line of movies in front of him.

_Richie: s o what's up eds_

Eddie groans at the nickname.

_Eddie: i’m at family video_

“Psycho,” Mike says. “It's a classic. Hitchcock was a genius.”

Bill nods excitedly. “The Fly or Carrie?”

“Carrie. The Fly’s not scary, it's sad.” Eddie grabs a movie, Trick ‘r Treat, and shows Mike with a smile.

_Richie: oh fun_

“And, last but not least, The Strangers.” Mike says, watching Bill as he takes the case off of the shelf. Eddie nods. They get in the line, but since there's only two workers at the front and it's Halloween night, both lines are a bit long. None of the three mind, though, as they look at the five movies Bill, Mike, and Eddie are holding. “We oughta watch Psycho or Carrie last. They're the scariest,” Mike notes.

“I vote Psycho,” Bill says, and Eddie nods.

_Richie: fuck wait a sec i work here _

_Eddie: wait what _

_Richie: yeah right now i’m liking wandering to see if anyone needs help _

_Eddie: holy shit that’s you??_

Eddie looks up from his phone, not moving but looking around. It's a bit hard, since it's a tad crowded, but he manages. It’s their turn now, and their cashier is a tall boy with curly hair. He seems bored as he scans the five movies. Bill’s flirting, and oddly enough it seems to amuse him.

They head out, Bill holding some of the movies and a small piece of paper. “I can't believe you got his number,” Mike mentions jokingly.

_Eddie: what are you doing saturday?_

Eddie enters the back of Mike’s car, setting the small stack of movies next to him.

_Richie: you_

He lets out a laugh as the three begin to drive home, listening to some 80s pop on the radio.

_Eddie: for fucks SAKE_

**Author's Note:**

> hope this was mildly enjoyable
> 
> my tumblr is @reigentw !


End file.
